This is a follow up to my previous article on routines & their benefits. Reading part I beforehand is recommended- Enjoy!
Naughty Indulgences
“Enjoy the little things”
A line uttered by a man, as he proceeds to bash the shit out of a fragile vase, in an antique store, in world overrun- by zombies. He was a cowboy, and his name… was Tallahassee.
And yes I’m talking about the 2009’s Zombieland (great film by the way.)
But to my point, like us, Tallahassee was plagued by worldly circumstances outside of his control (zombies). HOWEVER, rather than revel in misery- he did much the opposite.
By taking notice, and embracing in the smaller moments in life that made him happy, of which he did often. And it’s probably for this reason alone that he ended up more like him, and less like the mopey depressing cast of The Walking Dead.
Now what the hell am I on about you ask?
To avoid going nuts being stuck at home, you gotta start acting a little like Tallahassee did. You gotta start enjoying the little things.
For him, it was violence and the indulgence of baked goods that kept him cheery, but for you, it can be (and SHOULD be) something else.
Like wine? Course you do, have one each night at dinner. Have a thing for sweet treats? No problem. Knick one, a SMALL piece once a day, when the reality of being stuck at home hits you the hardest.
Small, quick & effortless
See it’s about keeping your world small and by purposely setting your days up with a treat or two that you can look forward to daily. Something small that requires almost no prerequisite to cheer you up other than the indulgence of the treat itself.
Now I bring up mainly food and drinks as those are things that cheer me up, however if dietary treats aren’t for you then find something else. Something small as to allow yourself to make it a daily “treat” (without it affecting your health in any way in the long run), and something easy that’ll guarantee your enjoyment out of it with little room for error.
By finding outputs in ways of a midday snack or drink, something SMALL, QUICK, and EFFORTLESS; you may find the lengthening of your days to shorten, making this period of your life (and all the routines in it) seemingly go by a little bit quicker– as now your time will be filled with periods of naughty gleefulness.
This way you and your current upside-down frown can have a day off (daily) and indulge in some of the more vivacious “fun” things in life that you otherwise wouldn’t necessarily partake in, be it through food, drinks, or something else entirely.
CALM DOWN though
Self-restraint with this rule is key, and in this case not all things are created equal. Actually do your homework on how “naughty” you wanna be with this one.
I.e. don’t be a dumbass.
(I’d argue against a once day dietary indulgence of Big Mac’s and gallon Vodka for example.)
But we both know you’re not stupid, so gauge your own boundaries and see what is permissible by your own standards. Don’t be a prude, but don’t be too YOLO about it either.
A piece of candy or cake once a day in an effort to cheer you up won’t kill you, a “piece” of Heroin might, you get my wild point.
Staying Active
This one ‘s pretty self-explanatory (I hope). A metabolic kick in the ass with a bestowed gratis return of 120/80mgH or below resting blood pressure (a healthy range for the average adult.) But direct vital benefits aside- in times of confinement, what else you gonna do?
Seriously…
You’re already halfway to insanity as it is probably, even if you are one of the lucky ones to be currently shacked up with bae (or UNLUCKY perhaps?)
And with this smug virus still loitering across your street curb like some leather jacket-wearing 50’s douchebag, cigarette drawn cockily between each copped puff, eagerly awaiting outside to give you the infectious beating of your life…
I mean what else can you do except cower in fear on your couch with a bag of chips right?
Wrong.
Start movin, start grooving…somehow.
Walk, jog (cardio of sorts), muscle induced hypertrophy (might need to put in a little more effort for this one.) Anything that negates you being inactive all day is a solid pick in my mind.
And i know…being lazy is fun! But as much as I hate the fact, simply put, we weren’t designed to lounge about for days at a time, so do yourself a favor and get that fat ass movin. Quick start that biological cascade of events to help alleviate your sanity (and love handles) with nootropics straight from within.
Because honestly at this rate of you being trapped at home, it’s only a matter of time-
-Until you go fuckin nuts.
BUT!
Through aiding in exercise(s) and productive routines of sorts you’ll be able to stay healthy AND keep your sanity longer through means of endorphin downpours and biological high-fives straight from that juicy amygdala of yours.
You making yourself very unhappy by being active will make your insides VERY HAPPY, who would’ve thunk it?
But I’m no smarty pants like all them experts out there (sport’s strength coach and Youtuber Jeff Cavaliere being a staple of mine), so in this case, the internet is your friend, use it. I ain’t here to tell you what I recommended, we’re all different. Look around, they’re a plethora of routines out there for you to follow with ease.
Find something to get you movin, and start groovin, DAILY. Your temporal lobe will thank me.
Socialize…ONLINE!
Now when was the last time you bastards hit up your Grandma eh? What about that really cool friend of yours that you’ve kind of lost touch with? U know some of the people that have failed to garner your attention in recent months, u know who they are…well, hit em up!
Call, text, email, WeChat, whatever; just get it done.
Check-in with the relevant world is all I’m saying, see how all your buddies are doing. (Also note I used the word “relevant”.)
Socialize, don’t envy.
Check-in with the people you care about, but don’t get lost down the rabbit hole of online influencers and celebs that have nothing to do with you, showing YOU how awesome THEIR life still is– and making you feel less great about yours in the process (practical life advice too.)
By reaching out to the relevant people in your circle you may gain some perspective on life that could help reframe you world view on things, because after all, we’re all in the same pandemic boat, even me- the handsome stranger whose words you’re reading right now (I love you.)
Hit up your peeps and see what’s up, it’ll make a world of difference AND help pass the time, trust me (your soon to be favorite online go-to guy.)
Self-care/ grooming: A “trickle-down” investment
Gentlemen…hear me out. Despite these last few months feelin like a drawn-out single Sunday– furry slipper donned and cozily bedridden (the utmost pleasurable of routines no doubt)– this ain’t the time to kick back…
Matter fact I’d say it is now more important than ever to keep your wits about you, to remain sharp…and sexy (cuz why can’t the two go together?)
It’s fairly simple lads, as far as routines go:
“Look good feel good”
Now while this mantra in of itself echoes “douchebaggery” of the highest order, lain within this saying lies a trove of benefits to be gained. Largely in part to the contribution dressing “better” on a daily basis will have on you and your efforts to continuously remain productive at home, without even realizing it.
Work smarter not harder.
Lemme explain.
Your best most lazy day, what does it consist of?… You (whilst wearing your probable fav pair of diva pink socks) not giving a fuck about much, doing nothing right? Now this in of itself ain’t so bad, the problem with this, however, becomes evident when everyday thereon after reflects this one such unencumbered day, becoming a pattern- a routine.
And I get it, being consistently productive for long periods of time at home is hard, you’re not used to it; most people aren’t. Fewer deadlines, fewer routines, less stimulation overall.
But with the current dire state of the world, we don’t know much longer all this will last, not really… not yet. And unfortunately, this means that your ass needs to stop dicking around and get back on the horse.
You need to start viewing this phase as a period of productive exigency, rather than a period to just cut loose.
And make no mistake, productivity in a safe haven of familiarity and comfort can be a dangerous thing… if you let it be. And this is because endeavors within the homestead often bear fruit to a “half-assed” mindset, over time breeding content and laziness from within ourselves– because like the saying goes… “home is where the heart is”, but rarely the productive mind.
So… what can we do to combat this?
Dress to impress…slightly
Play make-believe! What you did in the old days– dressing a particular way, getting ready like you had somewhere to be– do it all again, but just at home.
Shower, shave and trim– apply an ample of cologne and don your best suit, just kidding– but put on something other than the sweatpants you’ve been rocking all this while. Change that old t-shirt for a crisp white v neck or a casual shirt, put on jeans, or anything that even remotely makes you look like you’re about to head out somewhere.
Up your home game a little bit, lads. You’ll feel the upgraded difference on yourself, trust me.
The main goal right now is to trick yourself into thinking that you’re in an environment of sorts where what you do/ how you do it in matters. To imbue a sense of intrinsic meaning behind some of your actions and routines (like you did in your life before COVID.)
(I.e. continuing to maintain a productive lifestyle conducive to the betterment of yourself and your endeavors.)
You see the problem with being at home 24/7 is that over time it throws much of our past habits out the window because now, all of a sudden we’re not beholden to anything or anyone (society, your boss, even yourself.)
Because what’s the point?
You’re nestled within the confines of your safe haven, away from any real imminent pressure/accountability– away from the tertiary “dangers”/judgment of the world– frankly put, you’re in your “safe space.”
And look, I realize there are some people out there that can bask and be dynamic within the domain of their own home, continuing to function in a productive manner while in their pajamas, waking up late, and eating like shit– and that they do this all well.
So first off-
-Respect.
HOWEVER…
Most I would argue, are like me. Individuals who need a “healthy” structure of some kind in place to stay on point, a helping hand conducive to getting them in the “zone”.
As at least for me (and I’m sure most of you), to be able to turn on one’s awesomeness sometimes isn’t as simple as a light switch. Sometime’s the mind needs a “jolt” of some kind, a running start to help reach peak velocity.
And this is where adopting old self-betterment habits like grooming and slight attention to wardrobe choices will come into play, let them help give you a subconscious running start.
The sudden jump back into your old ways (dress sense & all) will hopefully make you & your mind WANT to get back into a state of productiveness because all of a sudden you now objectively “look” it.
“Look good, feel good”, try it out.
Michelin Masculinity- COOKING
Yes, this skill gets its own column.
It’s the modern age lads, the bar has been raised. Gone are the times when you had to predominately rely on a fierce member of the opposite sex to cook you eggs or make you coffee.
To be inept in the kitchen these days as a man is to translate and vocalize your inability to essentially take care of yourself. You need to be self-sufficient, at least a little (no one’s saying you gotta be a self-reliant mountain man or anything.)
These days a man must be as savvy and devilish with a spatula betwixt his fingers as he is in between the sheets.
An unofficial necessary prerequisite that many men think little of, or rather claim to know, only to be caught red-handed fussing over the packaging instructions of an instant noodle packet (which by the way does NOT count as “cooking”.)
Learning to be more self-sufficient in the kitchen will also do wonders for you and your mental fortitude.
Ratatouille Perks
To ascend upon your own culinary peak will ensure you to consistently keep busy (a recurring theme within this post if you haven’t noticed), guaranteeing you never have a somber second to spare until bedtime, making your heavy trodden 24 hour days suddenly seem less daunting, as you’ll have less time to think about “THE time”.
Cook more, worry less, learn a skill, and forget the rest.
Add in the incursion of ample health benefits (reduction of waistline included) gained from “man-handling” your meals and well, come end of “Virus days” your sharp jawline and overall sex appeal won’t be the only thing in tip-top shape.
And plus what woman won’t find you to be the endearing debonair that you are when you subvert expectations and over-deliver with a full-on aphrodisiac feast, a-la Man style.
Leave no lad behind- Beginners
And even if you ain’t the regular kitchen dweller, you don’t need much to start, just a few key items that go well together, starting at the basics. Meals involving a protein of some kind (chicken/beef), complex carbohydrates, and a helping of fibrous carbs.
An example of this would be beef with pasta and bell peppers (bell peppers being the fibrous carb source in this case). Just 3 components to start with.
You can add more to it later.
Think of it like a pie chart, simply learn a few protein/carb/fibrous carb combos and continuously switch them out, over time learning to be more complex about it, even adding in different spices to see what works (ginger or turmeric with red meats go particularly well together for example.)
Now on that note, spices could be a whole other discussion in of itself (for another time), but for now don’t be afraid to confront the bitch, trying out new combos and seeing which ones you like.
A thimbleful of this or that won’t kill you, experiment!
Being half Indian, since birth I was thereon dubbed “The Spice Slayer”, as back when I was the little rapscallion that I was, I was known for my fascination with putrid and pungent spices of many varieties, gouging and excavating the perilous bowels of my family’s ample spice rack cupboard on the daily– nonchalantly seeing which concoctions of powdered poison’s worked in the heat of the moment, no fuck’s given…
Moral of the story: Don’t overthink it. Get to cooking.